November 03, 2025
It’s that time of year when the wax room smells like existential dread and blueberry soup, and every coach swears they’re “not worried” while eyeing the start list like a weather radar. We begin with the heavy stuff: Germany is bracing for a winter without its sprint queen. Twice, in fact. The federation all but concedes that Olympic champ Victoria Carl won’t be cleared in time, and head coach Peter Schlickenrieder has prepared the nation with a second helping of sorrow, saying he expects a ban through the Olympics. In Germany, the only thing slower than classic waxing in a warm snow squall is a disciplinary ruling.
Across the border, Sweden is sharpening its verbal poles. Sebastian Samuelsson offered Norway a pre-season valentine—“it’s going to be really tough for them”—after the Bø brothers retired. Norway replied with a shrug and an extra interval, as Endre Strømsheim noted the real pressure is making Norway’s Olympic roster. Catch the smack talk and counter-sass in the twin tales here: Samuelsson’s jab and Norway’s response. Biathlon: come for the pursuit, stay for the subtweets.
Meanwhile in ski jumping, the suits are back on trial and the podium feels like a courtroom. Norwegians Lindvik and Forfang have served their time and insist they’ll jump “with heads held high,” while Germany’s Karl Geiger called for ironclad checks—and immediately got ratioed by Polish media waving screenshots of last winter’s tailoring choices. Somewhere, a FIS inspector is measuring seams with a laser level and a prayer.
For a palate cleanser, behold the ageless wonder: Noriaki Kasai, age 53, finished fourth at Japanese Nationals and earned Continental Cup starts—because time is a concept and Kasai is an exception. Of course there’s a counterpoint—the aches and doubts are real—but the man is still chasing Milan-Cortina like it owes him a coffee. 🛫
The cross-country world is stretching, cracking its knuckles, and pretending Ruka is a warm beach. Finland’s sages say don’t panic about early shapes; Iivo Niskanen is fine, the Norwegians must peak sooner. Norway, in a logistical plot twist, plans to skip Olympic Villages and use hotels for performance reasons—because nothing says team bonding like a shuttle bus and a key card. Details here: Norway books the Marriott, not the Village.
And because sport is human: Therese Johaug says pregnancy is no picnic—she’s grateful, sure, but also cranky, sore, and unable to put socks on without an internal pep talk. She’s aiming to be on a TV headset at the Olympics not long after her due date, presumably with both shoes tied.
Somewhere between all of this, the trails are being rolled, the rifles zeroed, and the bibs printed. The season is almost here. Pack your humor and your split times; you’ll need both.